Don’t run with scissors.
Keep your hands to yourself.
If you don’t stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze like that.
Don’t make me come in there.
If you fall off that swing and break your neck, you can’t go to the store with me.
If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside. I just cleaned the floor.
You have better pray that comes out of the couch.
Because I said so, that’s why.
Make sure you wear clean underwear in case you have an accident.
Just wait until we get home.
One day you will have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you.
4 comments:
You forgot "If you keep doing that, you'll go blind."
It turned out not to be true, although I do wear glasses today.
Mark Rosendorf
Author of The Rasner Effect series
Joe, my mother told me just about the same things and I still hear her words about certain things.
My mother is gone now, but I wish I could her voice saying some of these just one more time.
I remember hearing many of these and SAYING them. That's the shock, when you hear those words come out your mouth! Many times I call my Mom up and say, "I'm so sorry." She'll ask me for what and I'll tell her what and then she'll say, "Oh, you weren't that bad." LOL! I guess that's the good things about Moms, they remember the good more than the bad.
My mother said "never wear a skirt on a plane in case I have to slide down the chute." Those modest Midwesterners. But she's now 85 and we're still taking girls' trips together. Thanks for a great post, Joe.
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