You Know You Are Getting Old When . . .

(1) Elevator music is too loud for you.

(2) You no longer lay face down on the bed when someone hurts your feelings.

(3) You can’t remember your dog’s name but you can remember your first grade teacher’s phone number.

(4) You still use the phrase, “You sound like a broken record.”

(5) You have won lady/man of the year twice.

(6) You reach for the clutch when you speed away from a traffic light.

(7) You have a collection of 8-track tapes in your closet.

(8) You start a lot of sentences with, “I remember when-”

(9)  You pull out a dime when you approach a drink machine.

(10) You leave a quarter tip for the waitress.

(11) Your dancing shoes go all the way up to your ankles.

(12) You have an extra pair of glasses in each vehicle you own.

(13) You think modern music is the work of the devil.

(14) Your medicine cabinet contains medicine instead of grooming products.

(15) When your friends come down with any illness and you have already had it—twice.

(16) You think your doctor is a kid.

(17) You can’t tell a navy blue tie from a black one.

(18) You no longer say ‘excuse me’ when you belch.

(19) Everyone you meet ask if you are feeling alright.

(20)  You can name all of the presidents since Garfield.

(21) When you bend over you ask yourself if there is anything else you need to do before you straighten back up.